Have you ever heard someone say, "I don't want it to go to her head"? Recently after speaking at an event, someone offered my husband a compliment about me. After listening, he suggested they come and tell me. But, they responded, "Well, I don't want it to go to her head."
What they didn't know is that I desperately needed a boost of inspiration.
Most often, the days I speak are some of my hardest. The enemy tries to beat me down with discouragement, insecurity and loneliness to keep me from stepping out on that stage. But, somehow God's faithfulness transforms my weakest moments into great victories. So, while participants may translate our moments on stage as our most confident, my husband and I share the secret knowledge that it's actually our most vulnerable. If we are together at an even, we take great care to encourage and support one another in the minutes we walk off.
It's not wrong to be on guard against the beasts, pride and arrogance. When I see these two sins in my soul I'm terrified to admit they exist. I'd rather camouflage them with righteous deeds, or bury them beneath blankets of performance.
But, even more discouraging than the way I handle my own pride, is the way I treat fellow believers who are battling these monsters. Instead of supporting and praying for them, I find myself adopting the false responsibility of "making" them humble by withholding affirmation.
This is a tendency I've noticed in many believers. We choose not to celebrate someone because we want to protect them from becoming conceited. We refuse a compliment because we wonder if our words might bring forth boasting. But I wonder if our suppressed support has created a body of believers who wander through life discouraged, disappointed, and resentful of those to whom good things come.
If we dig a little deeper, would we discover the root of our resistance to encourage actually originates from our own insecurity?
Are we refusing to lift up other people because our pride is threatened? Perhaps our souls are so defeated from a lack of validation that we don't have any to dish out. We don't get, so we don't give.
If you feel like I'm stepping on your toes, maybe you can find consolation in the fact that mine have already been trampled. I've held back encouragement out of insecurity. Over and over. I've regretted it and asked my Savior why.
Here is what He has shown me. Believers are are called to carry the life and light of Christ to the world. When Jesus walked on the earth, he constantly used his words to bring life and healing to the people around him (John 6:63). Proverbs 18:21 says, "Life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit."
When we refuse to encourage each other, we disobey Jesus' mandate to build each other up. (I Thess 5:11) We're not responsible for how people receive the goodness we offer them. We can't control whether it goes to their heads. However, we are responsible for whether our tongues dish out life or death.
This morning me and my boys ate lunch together. Joseph opened his heart to Jacob and said, "Jacob, I hope I have a son who is as loves reading and is as good at it as you." Visibly touched, Jacob responded by saying, "Jojo, I hope I have a son who loves to skateboard and do tricks as well as you." In that moment I think all of our hearts melted a little. As I was enjoying my children's affirmation of each other, Jacob hugged me and said, "You're the best Mom ever!"
Encouragement is contagious.
Whose heart will you melt today? It may feel awkward or weird at first, but if you take the chance, you might find inspiration will come your way as well.
- Take out your journal.
- Ask Jesus to show you if you've been deficient in your encouragement to others, and if you feel discouraged. Take time to write down your thoughts and prayers.
- For each day of the week, offer that many encouragements. So, one on Sunday, two on Monday, three on Tuesday, etc.
Offer It Up:
“Jesus. Help me to deny myself in order to lift someone else up. You've shown me how in scripture, now speak to me in my everyday life and help me do it. I'm yours. I submit my pride and arrogance to you.”
© 2014 by Sharie King. All rights reserved.
- We're not responsible for how people receive the goodness we offer them.
- John 6:63-The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you—they are full of the Spirit and life.
Encouragement is contagious. Whose heart will you melt today?