Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding,
for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.
I wanted to start this blog by saying, "I'm sure you've heard the story of The Three Bears," but then I thought, "Our world is changing so much, maybe they haven't!"
So, instead, let me give you a quick run-down of the fable. There was a girl named Goldie-locks who wandered into the woods and found an abandoned house. Not knowing it was inhabited by three bears, she made herself at home, eating their food and using their furniture. When the bears came home, they found her in asleep in their cub's bed. When she awoke, she was so scared she ran away.
Great story, right? But, what does this have to do with the "Just Right" guy?
Well, when Goldie was in the bears' house and made herself at home, she coined the phrase "just right" when she found what she was looking for. When she tried the porridge, one was too hot, one was too cold, but the last one was just right. Two of the chairs were too big, but the last one was just right. One bed was too hard, one was too soft, but the last was just right...and she fell asleep.
It's no secret that singleness isn't easy. But, as the Proverbs 3:13-14 tells us, it is always profitable to ask for wisdom. So let's pretend we're close friends having coffee together. Let's also pretend you're frustrated, wondering if there's a "just right" guy out there for you. I bet you wish it was as easy as too hot, too cold, too big, too soft, or too hard.
I wish all decisions were that easy. And I cannot solve your dating dilemmas with such simplicity (which I'm sure you already know), but I'd love to share with you a conversation I had with a young lady a few weeks ago. She confessed to me that the dating advice she often received seemed to come from two extremes. One camp was always telling her not to settle for less than the perfect guy, while the other argued, "No guy is perfect. You need to just settle."
As she talked I felt her pain. There seemed to be no "right" answer! So I tried to remember what made me decide Clayton was "the one"? What did I believe about him that enabled me to open my heart up to dating, engagement, and then marriage?
I re-wound my mind to when we first met, and then fast-forwarded to how I see him now. When we fist started dating, he was a man who I respected. He had flaws, but I could see he was willing to repent, learn and grow. He was a man I thought I could follow, but was also open to my desires, wisdom and decisions. All of these qualities have added to our relationship and have drawn us closer over the years.
So, while I was kind of in the zone, I said, "I think that both statements have elements of truth. No man is perfect for sure. No woman is either. You'll never find the ideal man, so I think it's important to look for someone who is open to growth; someone who is willing to be your partner as God transforms you both in a lifetime of marriage. BUT, don't marry someone expecting to change them. He should be someone you respect; someone you know will challenge and support you spiritually and emotionally."
Then, my mind woke up from my dazed memory as she said, "Wow! I've never heard it put that way. It's a little bit of both."
I didn't think this was any form of epic advice, but her reaction led me to believe this might be something you ladies would want to hear. So, I hope it will helps you as Valentine's month approaches. "The Just Right Guy" probably doesn't exist, but if you find a man open to God's growth who you respect and admire, he might be "just right" for you!
Stay tuned for next week. I will get more specific and share (from our book 12 Questions) some red flags you should take note of if you are dating someone seriously before you go deeper in your feelings and commitment. If you have any questions, please comment because I would love to be a listening ear! Also, be sure to share this if you feel a friend may need to hear!
© 2016 by Sharie King. All rights reserved.