What Happened to my Testimony?

It was my senior year of high school. I felt lonely at home, as well as at school. A friend asked left-out-and lonely-me if I wanted to go to a party and I went. It was a bad decision because not only did I now feel left out and lonely, but out of place and awkward as well. I went home vowing not to make that mistake again.

Soon after, left-out-and-lonely-me was asked out by a boy. I said yes because I thought he would comfort me. But he wanted more from me than I was willing to give. We broke up and I felt even more dejected and isolated. I was making decisions that didn't reflect me or the Savior I loved. I couldn't forgive myself. I felt like I ruined my life, my testimony. 

My mind knew that Jesus is in the business of redeeming the undeserving, of restoring the broken, but my heart felt like a traitor. I’d proven untrustworthy. Why would Jesus waste his time on a girl who knew better; a girl who should’ve made better decisions. I didn't deserve his grace because I let my loneliness ruin my testimony. I was stuck in condemnation.

I dug myself into a pit. Somehow I thought Jesus would rather me feel guilty and ashamed than to find grace, forgiveness and freedom. Why did I do this to myself? Why do we deceive ourselves into thinking Jesus would rather condemn than restore. This is not the gospel. How can we ruin our testimony when He is our testimony? We do not save ourselves, He does. 

Last January, my friend Krislyn Kerr’s shared a testimony of overcoming shame with me. I want to share her story with you because I was so impressed at her ability to bounce back from self-condemnation. She was able to live out 2 Timothy 1:7, 9-10, "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. He has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done, but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought us life and immortality to light through the gospel."

I hope Krislyn’s Success Story encourages you today! If you know someone who needs this message (I mean who doesn't, right!) please share so they can find freedom too! Grace and peace to you.

© 2016 by Sharie King.  All rights reserved.