The Pastor's Wife: Who am I? Who is He?

I'm standing in the kitchen with Joseph when I hear a deep voice in the hallway. We've been in the process of building our house and trying to get the punch list knocked, so I expect my youngest son to reply that a contractor is here fixing his bathtub. Instead, a silly grin emerges on his face, and looking at me out of the corner of his eye, he says, "Mama, that's Jacob."

Jacob is my 14 year old son. I've not been the mom of a teenager before, but if you're a mom of a teenage boy, you've probably shared my thoughts in this moment, "There's no way that sound came out of my baby boy." As if aiming to prove me wrong, Jacob interrupted my thought by entering the kitchen with a request for breakfast. When he spoke, the voices matched and what I thought impossible soon became fact: his voice had changed. 

Who was this young man standing in my kitchen?

If I'm honest, I've asked the same question of myself. Who am I? Why was I born? Why am I here and what is my purpose? I haven't met a person who hasn't asked these questions of themselves, and while they can become confusing, I believe the questions alone are a gift from God.

For a long time, I was afraid of questions. I thought it was sinful to question. "Questioning" was a big ugly monster that stole away my faith. God only loves people who believe, right? But none of us believed before the Holy Spirit reached us, and what did he reach you with? I bet it was a question. 

Jesus reached me when I was a young girl. I was taking up space on a church pew wondering, "Who am I? Who are You and why do You love me?" But Jesus isn't scared of our questions. In fact, I believe He plants questions in our souls to give Himself the opportunity to speak to us, to lead us to the truth. But many of us don't make this transition. We're like a record that has a scratch. Our needle is stuck trying to find out who WE are, but we will never know unless we start trying to understand our Creator, Jesus Christ. If we want to know who we are, we have to look beyond ourselves and see who He's created us to be.

My husband said it best in his sermon I AM: Jesus in His Own Words, "When you know who Jesus is, you see who He is calling you to be. God answers every 'who am I' with 'I AM.' God's authority determines your identity."

Why are you here? You're life is a giant journey of discovery. Many of us are so concerned with "what" God wants us to "do" that we don't understand His greater desire is for us to understand "who" we are to "be". Our innate wondering is God's gift to us. We were meant to question, to search our souls and discover I AM is missing. He is the one who answers who we are, not ourselves. 

Romans 1:20-25 says, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles...They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised."

This verse explains why it's so important for "God's authority to determine our identity." We have to seek to know God more than we seek to know ourselves. He defines who we are, not the other way around. If we obsess over ourselves, we exchange His truth for a lie and begin to worship ourselves (what we think, believe and feel) instead of the One who created us. 

Here's the ugly truth: we all worship ourselves. It's a result of this ugly nature inside us. This is why God sent the Holy Spirit to teach us how to say no to ourselves and yes to Him (TItus 2:12). 

Jesus, help us to see when we're worshipping ourselves. Help us to search out who You are more than we worry about our own insecurities. Help us to listen to the Holy Spirit when He's teaching us how to love You more. We need You!

© 2016 by Sharie King.  All rights reserved.