By Kirstin Bolt
Sometimes I live in fear for my children.
Fear they’ll walk the same dreadful path I did. Fear I’m not good enough. Fear I’m not what they need. Fear I don’t measure up to the “got-it-all-together-beloved-mama” label that’s been plastered across my forehead.
It's exhausting, and I just want to do it right.
There’s bottle-fed or breastfed, work or stay at home, shots or no shots, co sleep or cry it out, public or private... And what if we choose wrong? Ugh.
We’re mamas battling this world. We’re mamas fighting the lies.
Sometimes we can be doing what we think is right, but it's not actually righteous.
This time of year (Christmas is in 4 days!!!) is prime time for us girls to feel the weight of the world. We’re supposed to be jolly and filled with joy, while also orchestrating the perfect Joanna Gaines home, the perfect Pinterest gifts, the perfect Martha Stewart recipes and the perfect Brady Bunch family. We tell ourselves, "It's for the kids."
In the name of celebrating Jesus, we try to create a magical Christmas about joy, hope, peace, love, and generosity because it’s His birthday. Yet we add presents to the mix, (but not TOO many for risk of creating spoiled, entitled monsters) all to be accounted as a sure-fire deposit into the good memory bank for our kids to look back on when they’re grown and creating their own Christmas traditions.
Whew, yeah that. But how far did "right" get ole Martha Stewart?
When it comes to our kids and everything else, we’ve got to get over ourselves and what we think the world is telling us is “right."
What if we do this mama-thing according to who God has made us to be? Because what seems right isn’t always righteous.
Webster says righteous means, “acting in accord with divine and moral law, free from guilt or sin.”
Girlfriend, the mommy wagon is full of guilt. So what if we let God be God, and as Elsa said it best, “Let it go!" We step into freedom.
How? Well, we have to know who God is… He’s a Father who chose us, made us, loves and pursues us. He’s patient, gracious, merciful and kind. He knows and yet forgives. He humbled Himself by coming to this broken world among broken people as a baby born in a filthy barn. He lived a simple life, later blowing our minds with a ministry of healing and humility. He died a brutal death, rose three days later, and today, still chooses to give us life among our faults and failures. He loves us. He did all that for us. He did all that for you. Do you trust that?
Now remember who you are because of Him. You are chosen, made well, loved, forgiven and redeemed. Do you actually believe that?
God doesn’t call us to be “got-it-all-together-beloved-mamas,” or to fulfill that atrocious to-do list.
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given to us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.” 1 Timothy 1:9
There’s freedom to just be.
Your kids won’t remember your gorgeous table spread or the handmade gift tags. They’ll remember you rolling around on the floor playing games, serving as a human airplane and making another run to the imaginary super market. They’ll remember you crawling across the living room as a secret spy and baking messy cookies that aren’t perfect, but actually are because you made them together.
Christmas is a few days away. Let’s stop doing, and just be... because all that perfect stuff doesn’t actually matter.
I mean, come on… Joanna Gaines has nothing on my secret spy game, and Mike Brady doesn’t hold a candle to my hottie of a husband. Who really has time for Pinterest anyway?
Let’s be women who position ourselves to see God, remembering who He’s made us to be, and thus mamas who love our children (and one another) deeply, stumble gracefully and embrace the present.
“But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.” Galatians 4:4-5
That’s what I want for my kids. That’s Christmas.
Jesus, you are an unchanging Father who loves and reigns. Thank you for choosing me, forgiving me and refining me to become something new. I pray for eyes to see you and a pure heart to trust what your word says is true for me. I give this to you, Jesus. In your precious name, I believe, Amen.
© 2016 by Kirsten Bolt. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Kirstin Bolt is a wife and mama of two, unashamedly chasing Jesus. When she's not serving at Clayton King Ministries as Communications Director, she's pursuing her passion of encouraging women to find their identity in Jesus. She writes about this life and how we stumble through it with grace at TheStudioLight.com