I’ll Take It Jesus! Thank You
God blesses those who obey him; happy the man who puts his trust in the Lord -Proverbs 16:20
A few years ago, Jacob came home from school, sat down beside me and said, “Mama, I miss Daddy.”
When I heard these four words, I felt like a giant hand had taken my heart and squeezed the joy out of it. I was moved with compassion because when I was a little girl, my single mom worked long hours to take care of me and my brother. I spent a lot of time in after-school care during the school year and daycare in the summer. When I was a teenager, she sometimes didn’t get home until 10 or 11 at night because she was working her fingers to the bone to provide for us.
So I was familiar with Jacob’s heartfelt loss of time with his daddy. But since Clayton hadn’t been out of town a lot that month, I was confused. So I prodded.
I said, “Daddy’s been home a lot lately baby. I don’t understand why you miss him so much.” He replied, “Yeah Mama, but he’s home when I’m at school and he leaves before I get home. You get to see him during the day, but school steals away my time with him.”
I listened patiently, but I knew that the fact Jacob wasn’t getting enough time with Clayton could mean life-altering changes in my life. All year I’d been looking forward to both our kids being out of the house so I could be free to serve CKm full force. I dreamed of finally having time to write my book, meet with college students and pour into the girls in our discipleship program. But deep down I sensed my plans were being uprooted.
I poured as much of myself as possible into Jacob for the rest of the school year and through the summer. I hoped this would fill the void in his heart. But two weeks before school year began, we got in a fight on the way to church. He was about to start 3rd grade and was already trying to direct my parenting.
Maybe you’re thinking, “What a perfect time to get him out of the house!” Believe me, I was more than ready to hand him over to a teacher when the Lord spoke to me during a worship song at church. He said, “There are things I want your son to learn that he cannot get from a teacher in a classroom of 25 students. He needs to learn to respect you and he needs time with his father.”
I was mad at God.
Of course Clayton was on a plane several states away when I received this dreaded calling that Sunday at our home church. So I prayed that he might be able to take my phone call when I got home. He answered the phone and was somehow able to translate through the tears and interpret my gut-sobbing confession, “I think I need to home-school.”
Once the words were out, my mind started racing, “Did I really just say that? Oh no. Can I pull the words back in?” But they were out and Clayton responded with calm assurance.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking homeschooling would make our life run smoother, but I didn’t want to force you to do it if it wasn’t in your heart. You’re the one who will shoulder most of the responsibility.”
I’ve been homeschooling for four years and-
- It’s not something I ever wanted to do.
- It’s not something I dreamed of doing.
- It’s not something I loved at first, or even love everyday now.
But-
- It is something Jesus called me to do.
- It is something that has made it possible for my husband to continue to travel for CKm.
- It is something that has given me the opportunity to also travel and speak.
- It is something that is teaching me along with my children.
- It is something that makes my husband and I look at each other in amazement at who our boys are becoming.
I’m sure Rahab was scared for her life when she hid the spies in Joshua 2. I know Moses didn’t want to rescue the Israelites in Exodus 3. Noah was probably freaked out when God called him to build a giant, floating wooden box in Genesis 6. But they obeyed and we know God honored them because He recorded their stories in His living and active word, the Bible.
Proverbs 28:14 says, “Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honor and life.” When I chose to obey God's call to home-school, I felt like I was losing my freedom. But once I made the commitment, I put my hand to the plow and tried not to look back because I was afraid to quit. I knew if I kept plowing ahead the Lord would honor my obedience.
I want to be clear. This is not an advertisement for home-school. It is a testimony to Jesus’ faithfulness to help me obey a calling that wasn’t on my bucket list. In this process, I’ve learned God’s plans aren’t always in line with mine, but when I choose His will over mine He will richly reward and honor me.
I saw proof this week. Joseph wrote an essay on courage for school. In it he said, “Courage is when you do something for someone else even when you’re afraid. Courage is when you tithe even though you may not have any money left because you know that the Father gave us Jesus and that took courage.” When I shared Joseph’s essay with Clayton, he was so proud of what Jesus was teaching Joseph that tears of joy came to his eyes. Joseph’s faith is my rich wage and proof that God has honored my reluctant obedience. I’ll take it Jesus! Thank You!
If this blog touched you, please share:
- Proverbs 16:20- God blesses those who obey him; happy is the man who puts his trust in the Lord. http://goo.gl/NkbLDq
- God’s plans aren’t always in line with ours, but when we choose His will, He will reward and honor us. http://goo.gl/NkbLDq
- I made the commitment, put my hand to the plow and didn't look back because I was afraid I'd quit. http://goo.gl/NkbLDq
© 2015 by Sharie King. All rights reserved.
