One time, on an international bus ride, I was playing a question game with friends to pass the time. The question we had to answer was, “If you could be any person in the Bible, who would you choose?” When my friend answered Ruth, the reality of living Ruth’s life hit me like a ton of bricks.

"It's getting harder and harder for me to give," I confessed to myself. Clayton and I sat across the table from a couple who needed a listening ear. We listened while they talked. We comforted them through their struggles and tears. I was obeying my calling to ministry, but my inner soul wished I could be the one talking and crying.

It was in this moment I realized how dry and empty my own soul felt. I'd just become a mother, and it was proving harder than I thought. Because I didn't love my new calling, I was carrying far too much shame and guilt. I was desperate for help myself. Still, I sat listening and praying to the only One who could help these people because I felt completely incapable.