Three Things That Surprised Us About Marriage

Ephesians 5:25-28- Husbands go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church- a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty, Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor- since they're already one in marriage. (NLT)

Our spouse's feelings are not valid because we understand them, but because they feel them..png

Maybe your loved one's emotions are confusing to you. Clayton and I have learned in our marriage that our spouse's feelings are not valid because we understand them, but because they feel them. So, even if their feelings don't make sense to you, they make sense to them. According to Ephesians 5:25-28, husbands have a responsibility before God to treasure and minister to their wives' soul; to become a place where our she feels safe and nurtured. This doesn't always translate into providing solutions to her problems, but most often supporting her through the struggle. She probably needs to grow through whatever she is facing, instead of being removed from the situation. So, how can you, as a man, practically love her when you don't understand her?

  1. Trade in your opinions and logic for awhile so you can adequately listen to her struggle.
  2. Remind yourself her feelings are valid simply because she feels them, not because they make sense to you.
  3. Don't try to explain her feelings away.
  4. We remind yourself that you were probably attracted to your spouses' differences when you were dating, so refuse to become resentful of them in marriage.
  5. Pray for her and ask her to pray for you to understand and be a good support for her. 
  6. Believe James 5:16- Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Scripture says no one hates his own body, but should feed and care for it and love it as if it is his own. So, if we've become one with our spouse in marriage, their body is our own. Jesus expects us to make efforts to care for one another's emotions. Loving your spouse's body as your own is a change of attitude. Their needs, whether physical or emotional, are as important to you as your own. Resenting our differences will divide, but attempting to understand will bring you together. Men and women most often become disconnected when they neglect each other's needs. Your spouse will find emotional support somewhere. Wouldn't you like it to be you?

© 2018 by Sharie King.  All rights reserved.

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