Are We Using God to Worship Ourselves?

A few weeks ago, when I was recovering from surgery, my husband and I watched to our church’s worship service from home. Dan Lian was preaching on Ecclesiastes 2 and I was inspired to share something I learned on this blog.

Ecclesiastes is part of the wisdom literature of the Old Testament. In this book, the author offers the everyday Israelite advice from the perspective and authority of King Solomon, God’s appointed king. His position afforded him every advantage; access to power, money, education, and every form of enjoyment under the sun. After a lifetime with access to all these opportunities, the king concluded everything under the sun, all of the things we experience or seek after in this life are essentially meaningless and end in futility unless we pursue it with God as our compass; our centering source through which we find meaning and purpose.

I want to share something specific with you, but I before I do, I must review the context of Ecclesiastes 2.

Short Summary of Ecclesiastes 2

This chapter is divided up into three sections which I will summarize to provide quick context for this blog.

The Futility of Pleasure: (verses 1-11) Seeking after pleasure and laughter is futile, for the pleasure mankind often seeks under the sun comes in the form of wisdom for the sake of intellectual superiority, and success in the form of building great gardens, structures or empires. The king possessed every means of gaining knowledge and constructing an unmatched nation of beauty and wonderment, but in the end this pursuit failed in its ability to produce inward satisfaction.
The Wise and the Foolish: (verses 12-17) Next, the author shares about his noble pursuit of wisdom over folly. Does not the pursuit of wisdom produce greater satisfaction (greater light for the soul) than folly? The author’s answer is yes! But, then he acknowledges the fact that under the sun, in this life, the tragedies and struggles of life visit both the wise and the foolish. So he comes to this conclusion, “Alas, the wise man will die just like the fool! So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. For everything is futile and a pursuit of the wind.”
The Futility of Work: (verses 18-26) Finally, he examines the foolishness of what his hands have accomplished. His angst lay in the fact that all that he created and built will be victim to the hands which will rule after he has expired. Will what he built continue to stand or fall? As much as he fights for it to remain within his lifetime, everything under the sun is subject to the strengths or weaknesses of his successors against rival nations, and to the laws of nature and time. One day our works stand and the next they fall.

What I felt led to share

As my husband and I processed Dan’s message, we discussed the different ways we’ve chased meaning in life and come up empty. We concluded that one of the greatest human temptations, for believer and unbeliever alike, is to find or chase purpose disconnected from God.

I believe each one of us has been, are being, or will be tempted to toss God aside in pursuit of purpose. I also believe this does not happen once in a lifetime, once a year, or even once a day. Rather, this is a constant battle which we may overcome in one circumstance and fail in another. No one is exempt from the battle to find purpose and meaning in this life. In addition, no one is exempt from choosing whether they will find it in their relationship with God or outside of it. However, I believe the author of Ecclesiastes would conclude -

“Those who recognize the vanity of pursuing meaning outside of God before they come up empty handed, empty hearted, or just plain empty, are the most fortunate of all.”

A Warning for the Minister

After this conclusion, our conversation took a heavier and more sobering turn toward an audience to which we belong, whom we hold near and dear- Ministers.

When you study the historical positioning of the Israelite king (a David or Solomon), you come to learn that the king was to be God’s appointed representative of himself to his nation; a means by which and through which he blessed and protected his people. Unfortunately, if you are familiar with the kings of Israel, you are aware of their inability to fully reflect God’s character and will to the people of Israel.

It is my opinion that the “kings” of our churches, the Christian leadership of our day, is struggling with the same battle. Whether we want to admit it or not, a primary characteristic of human nature is to demand a king. Someone to save us. Someone to deliver, to solve our problems, to provide relief, to give direction, to create community and unity, to lead us to a place of purpose and hope. If you are a believer, you know that this longing can only be filled by God through the saving work of Jesus Christ. But, if you are a believer, perhaps you might also admit that you seek these things in earthly people, pursuits, or procurements. And, if you consider yourself or are considered a Christian leader by others, perhaps you are carrying the burden of a “king”; the burden of representing God and providing for “your” people.

I do not write this blog as a judgement, but rather to spell out some of the expectations we may have of ourselves as ministers; whether self-imposed or prescribed by others. However one absorbs an expectation in leadership, it is an expectation to manage nonetheless, and, therefore becomes managed either appropriately or inappropriately. We see both examples when we study the kings of Israel, and I believe we see both in the ministers of today.

Clayton and I have served together in ministry since 1997. We have personally managed and mismanaged the responsibility of leadership and I have come to the conclusion that the most tragic targets of a false pursuit of purpose are those who believe they are doing it FOR God.

Why do I believe this is the case? Because the personal consequences of pursuing happiness or success instead of God are quite different than when this pursuit is connected to God.

Consider the logic of my conclusion.

When a person chases happiness or success apart from God, the choice is an either/or; a pushing of God aside in for the sake of something else.
But when a person’s success is connected to God, the choice is no longer an either/or, but rather a both/and for the perception is that when the minister succeeds then God also succeeds.
In addition, the felt perception for this individual might be that if the minister fails, they are not only failing God but God is failing him or her. In addition, when the minister fails not only does he or she feel as if they are failing God, but they are also failing those who expect them to be a representative of God.

Do you see how a person in vocational ministry might become desperate to succeed for the sake of God and others?

Do you see how a vocational minister might feel trapped within a convoluted understanding of success because their dreams and pursuits are so enmeshed with God’s that they cannot distinguish between their pursuits and God’s?

Let me further unpack the minister’s dilemma for the sake of clarity- for the minister and for those receiving from the minister.

The Minister’s Dilemma

My husband and I have been been behind the scenes in a lot of ministry environments. One of the heaviest burdens I have seen is the burden a minister carries. Whether perceived or imposed, ministers carry a lot of weight on their shoulders. They are constantly bombarded with needs:

The needs of the body: salvation and discipleship, relationship and marital issues, teaching and preaching, marriages and funerals, sickness and wellness, spiritual or emotional health, emotional or mental health, singles and marrieds, children and elderly, students and adults- anything the body expects, the minster is expected to have a solution.
Leadership needs: personal and staff health, vision casting and everyday maintenance, momentum and rest, initiating the highs and carrying through the lows- these are the minister’s job.

If you are a minister reading this list, has it become obvious to you that you cannot possibly carry this load? If you are a member of the body reading this list, has it become obvious that your ministers cannot possibly carry this load? If the expectations either self-imposed or placed upon a minister are so obviously impossible, how can we solve this problem?

The Magic Solution

As I conclude this blog, I don’t want to disappoint, but I don’t believe there is a magic solution to the minister’s (or the body’s) dilemma of solving impossible expectations. However, I do believe there is an practical, internal attitude which, when practiced by both the leadership and the body, can lead to a healthier management of expectations for both.

God must be both parties’ compass, centering device and source, through which the body and the minister finds meaning and purpose. When we toss God aside in our pursuit of satisfaction and happiness we are not actually idolizing the things we pursue but ourselves.

Let me explain.

The writer of Ecclesiastes seems to have chased every pleasure, wisdom, or work in the pursuit of happiness. Some would say that he made money, women, wisdom, or power into idols, and as a consequence lost his connection and worship of God as a result. I would like to challenge the idea that money, women, power, etc., were his idols. I believe he set himself up as an idol, chasing anything and everything which would satisfy himself other than God himself. The sin of worshipping ourselves, of believing that we as the creation understand what we need more than our Creator is as old as the fall of humanity in the garden; originating with Adam and Eve. When we idolize ourselves, we come to believe that God cannot satisfy our deepest longings and desires, and instead are trusting our own humanity to fill our emptiness with what can only be accomplished through God’s power.

This kind of idolatry is especially dangerous for the minister because he or she is tempted to use God to worship himself or herself. He or she unconsciously believes that:

Sacrificing marriage or family for God is righteous.
Sacrificing spiritual, physical, emotional or mental health for the sake of God is righteous.
Building a platform for the sake of God and the church is necessary for God, and therefore righteous.
Image management for the sake of God and the church is necessary for God, and is therefore righteous.

I could list endless ways in which the Christian minister is tempted to worship himself or herself, but I will stop. My point in listing a few is not to heap guilt or condemnation upon those in ministry because very often intentions of the heart are hard to discern and giving in to the temptation of idolizing ourselves happens more than any of us would care to admit.

Although ministry is a calling, it often plays out like a career. So, my heart in writing this blog is to admit that the minister is not only above temptation, but to illuminate how so that we have a chance to examine ourselves. Denying self-worship requires a focused attention on the only One who can capture our gaze.

Exhortation to the Body

To the Passionate: In closing, I beg those who are looking for “good Christian leaders” to solve yours or the world’s problems to allow the Lord to fulfill these expectations instead of your pastor, your mentor, your hero, your favorite influencer, your favorite feminist or voice for social reform. Here is the reality of a fallen world- the people or things we often believe can solve our problems cannot. I firmly believe that when you stop expecting solutions from those you see and trust the One who is unseen, then, and only then will you find contentment in this life and in the life to come.

To the Hurting: Many of you may be trying to figure out how to overcome disappointment and disillusionment with God as a result of church hurt or unanswered prayers. I cannot provide you with a perfect answer or solution. However, I am confident that if you seek, God will speak to you in a way you can understand. You may seek for longer than you want and He may not provide you with the answers you’re hoping for, but His answer will be full of truth and compassion. I pray you will be able to hear his still and small, yet powerful and effective voice! Amen.