Hello friends. I hope your Christmas and New Year is going well. I hope you're not feeling intimidated by the monstrous date before us, the inevitable January 1, 2017. You know, the day where we're all supposed to start all over, make up for the failures of last year, and begin again. 

Are you ready? 

Sometimes I live in fear for my children.

Fear they’ll walk the same dreadful path I did. Fear I’m not good enough. Fear I’m not what they need. Fear I don’t measure up to the “got-it-all-together-beloved-mama” label that’s been plastered across my forehead.

It's exhausting, and I just want to do it right.

I used to love Christmas!  Until I didn't.  And there was a reason I stopped loving it...for a season.

Simply put, I experienced real loss.  The kind of loss that sucker-punches you in the lower gut and knocks the breath out of you. The kind of loss that leaves you dazed and confused and wondering if you'll ever come back to a good place again.  And it wasn't just one loss.  It was one after another...and another...and another.  Strung out over twelve years.

We were standing in her kitchen talking about kids and Christmas when my friend said, “I was trying to explain to my daughter that Christmas is about Jesus, but she said, ‘No mom, it’s about getting presents.’ She’s only four, so I get it, but I’m just trying to figure out how to teach her the true meaning.” 

I'm driving down the road to see a friend. I love her, her parents and her relationship with her twin brothers. I'm even willing to love her dog, even though I'm allergic, because I just want what she has. I actually just want to have her life instead of mine...or maybe mine with a few adjustments. I love everything about my family, my mom, my brother, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and all of my many cousins. But, if I'm to be honest, I feel disappointed in the dad area.

During this Christmas season, many of us are admiring the courage of a young woman named Mary. I mean, she was visited by an angel who said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored!  The Lord is with you!” (Luke 1:28). And when she was asked to give birth to the Son of the Most High, her response was, May your word to me be fulfilled. (Luke 1:29-33, 38). Her words sound very similar to our own plea, “Lord, I want to be used by you” or “I want to serve you Jesus.” 

In retrospect, it’s easy to glamorize Mary’s calling because we know she is the mother of our Savior, but I wonder how she was perceived by the people of her own village

We will all face trials. The outcome is dependent on how we choose to face them. Will we learn our lesson or resent the discipline? Maybe you’re like me; sometime you choose to learn and others choose frustration. The results of our trials come from whether we choose life or death (Debt 30:19). I want to choose life.